K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
