I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
