I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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