i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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