ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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