I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
