Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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