Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
