You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
