Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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