I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
