yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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