I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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