oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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