i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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