she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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