Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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