So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
420 ftw
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
