why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
In America we eat man semen.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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