dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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