I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
