dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
