I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
