hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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