and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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