mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
