honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
