Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
