At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
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She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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