sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
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Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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