You really coming over, don't trick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
