She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
