Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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