Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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