no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I FOUND THE LEGS
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
