I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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