dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
