your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
