No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
