went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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