i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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