A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
