Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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