Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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