brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
