Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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