the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize