just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
