So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
