I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
