this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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