Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
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