Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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