You work out of a Hotel?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
