I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
