Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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