we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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