Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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