Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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