I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
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Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.