I think my vagina is haunted
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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