I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.