Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
worst night to have a conscience
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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