Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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