There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
