if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize