He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
