last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
